Friendships: "Nothing will change"

Earlier this morning, I was reading Dolly Alderton's "Everything I Know About Love" and got to a specific line where a friend tells Dolly, "Nothing will change". For further context, (without spoiling the plot), Dolly and a friend are having a conversation where Dolly expresses her concerns and worries about upcoming how upcoming life changes could affect their friendship. Her friend tells her, "nothing will change". 

If I had a list of my top 10 least favorite sayings/phrases, this one would be in the top 10. Honestly, it'd be in the top 3. In the context of friendship, the nature of the friendship itself will change given the decisions you make. As much as you tell yourself, "nothing will change" you just have to accept that everything will in fact, change. After all, nothing changes, if nothing changes. 

I'm writing this mostly for myself because I have reached the point of life where the majority of my friendships are taking unique shapes of their own. I've gone from having a core group of friends in my undergrad years of college to post grad and seeing friends less often and scheduling more 1:1 hangouts and now have to start preparing myself to say goodbye to some of my closest friends as several are leaving my home state. 

The realization that I myself will also be having to say goodbye to my closest friends in the next few months is also starting to take shape. I'm currently in the process of searching for apartments but I haven't told my friends yet until I for sure secure an apartment and start making the move official. That being said, I didn't realize how difficult it could be to say goodbye to the people I love dearly and hold so close to me who've been there for me through some of the most tumultuous times of my life. 

I'm a bit scared (and I don't exactly know why yet) of how my friendships will change during this period of moving and transition. Perhaps it's not so much the fear of the friendship changing, but more so the fear that comes with the realization that the friendship will not be the same ever again. A friendships involves micro-elements: frequency of communication, medium of communication, and the tone of communication (I might be missing something else, but that's all I can think of at the moment). Let me paint you a picture of how I see most friendships pan out:

1. college (seeing my friend every day, meeting for lunch, dinner, going to the gym together. catching up about our day and other random little things that we can think of) 

2. post grad (lucky if we see each other once a month. mostly catch up about what happened during the month)

3. post grad and beyond

    - in state friends: maybe once a month or once every 3 months of 6 months....it can vary so much 

    - out of state friends: once every 6 months or once a year 

Now that I'm actually writing this, I'm wondering why I'm sad over friendships changing . I think it's not so much that they're changing, bur rather I think I just miss the tiny micro interactions that come with seeing your friends on a daily or weekly basis. I miss these little micro interactions of friendships because I took them for granted and fear I didn't appreciate them enough and now I can get them back. It very much feels like I'm just watching my friend's life unfold but I'm just a spectator. I hate that I can't be there with them or live close to them and live life with them. And yet...the joy that lies in being the spectator of their life is that you're seeing a new version of them unfold every year as they continue to grow and evolve.